Aftermath
by mr ladouceur
Summary: The war is over. The Reapers are gone, but now the crew of the Normandy have to adjust to life without their leader and friend.
1. Chapter 1

Liara felt a flood of cold run through her body. The shock took a moment to process, but then realization came; her connection with Shepard was gone, leaving an empty void behind. In the noise and confusion surrounding her, Liara sat hard on the floor between a pair of cots. As medics rushed around the temporary facility, she put her face in her hands and brought her knees to her chest. "Shepard." Tears blurred her vision and flowed down her cheeks. "Oh, Jane."

**Earth, London**

On the ground Kaiden had seen the bright beam connecting to the citadel flicker and fade out, and heard the notice over the comms that someone had made it in. Two actually. Now he ejected the depleted thermal clip from his rifle and slapped in a new one. He raised the weapon and drew a bead on a husk at the front of a charging group when a wave of blue light washed over them all. The husk stopped.

"What the hell?" he thought before pulling the trigger and taking it down. His team brought down the rest of the group. The wave of husks and cannibals behind those began retreating. He'd never seen that before.

"Major, look!"

Kaiden took his eyes off the retreating group. "Holy shit," Kaiden said in a whisper. A Reaper, one of the big ones lifted off, followed by another and another. Calls started coming in, it was happening everywhere.

"Shepard! She did it."

**Alliance Navy Flagship**

"All ships, disengage. Pull back to the rendezvous." Hackett repeated his order and felt his own ship maneuvering to pull away from the blue sphere of energy expanding out from the Citadel's arms.

On the display he watched the tracks of his fleet as they started to maneuver. Many of them moved too slow to escape; escape who knew what that energy would do. Too many unknowns. What a desperate plan unleashing this thing.

One ship track caught his eye. "Normandy! Get out of there." The ship raced toward the citadel. "Damn it, Jeff, get that ship out of there."

**Normandy**

"Jeff, I'm not sure this course of action is wise."

"EDI, I know what I'm doing." As he plunged Normandy through the expanding sphere, the ship shuddered. "I think," Jeff said. Correcting course and power, steadying the ship.

"I am not picking up life signs from the Citadel, Jeff," EDI said as they closed on the structure that was the Presidium. A second energy wave appeared to be building there. It exploded out, washing over the Normandy. EDI slumped in her chair. The ship's controls went dead.

"EDI! Damn it."

Jeff felt gravity go offline, felt the engines fall silent. Normandy began to arc back to Earth. He fought the urge to shake EDI awake. Unbuckling himself he pushed to the cockpit's hatch and managed to get it open.

"You, get to engineering and get a status report. And you, get the AI core. Get EDI restarted." The two crew members responded immediately, following the luminescent strips on the floor, making their way to the emergency hatches by handhold.

Down in engineering, Tali gripped the railing with her legs, her zero G training finally useful after years. Aiming a light from her omni-tool around the engineering room, she located the switch box with the manual restart, then launched herself across the space and grabbed the edges of the box. With one hand holding herself in place, she opened the cover and tried the switch. It didn't give way.

"Stupid bosh'tet."

"Come on, Tali, use both hands." Adams said from somewhere in the dark.

"Hey, Adams, why didn't you humans know enough to make a switch you could operate in zero-g." Tali switched positions to grip the box between her thighs.

"Blame Cerberus."

She took the switch in both hands and pulled it.

The holographic displays in Normandy's cockpit flashed back to life just as EDI sat up again in her chair. He smiled over at her.

"Jeff. I - debris on collision course. Engines are not yet operational."

The collision alarm sounded, blaring in the small space.

"Get me kinetic barriers." Jeff ordered EDI

"Powering up now."

No sooner had she said it than the Normandy bucked and went spinning. Lights went out. The boom of the collision echoed through the ship. New alarms sounded. Normandy tumbled out of the sky towards Earth.

In sickbay Garrus, still bloody and hurt from the run for the beam, grabbed the edge of the bed just as the individual restraint fields kicked on, holding him and the other casualties in place. James hit the deck. He saw Dr. Chackwas lunge for her chair and it's restraining harness. Then the room pitched sideways violently and went dark for a moment. Whatever hit them sent shockwaves and explosions through the ship with a feeling of finality.

"Shepard kicked them in the nuts."

Garrus held the bed despite the field holding him in place, just in case it failed. "Damn."

**Earth, Brazil**

Normandy came to rest in middle of the forest. Jeff tried to sit completely still. Pain from ribs and hips collar bone told him what he didn't want to know.

"I have activated the distress call," EDI said.

"A little late, EDI." He sucked in a breath. It hurt to speak.

"We have wounded who need to be evacuated."

"I'm one of them."

EDI didn't need to ask, she scanned him through her connection to the ship's internal sensors. "You have twelve broken bones."

"Thanks for the count." The pain through his body grew as the adrenaline of the landing faded. "I think I'm going to just pass out now." Jeff slumped in his chair. EDI caught him and lowered him to the deck before he could fall.

"EDI to Doctor Chakwas."

No response.

Traynor opened the hatch and entered. A trickle of blood ran down the side of her face from a cut on her forehead. She noticed Jeff on the deck.

"Oh, God, he's not dead is he?"

"He has multiple broken bones and internal bleeding."

"We'll get a stretcher and take him to sick bay.

James burst in. "Guys, Doc's hurt pretty bad. Shit, Jeff too?"

**Earth, London**

Kaiden came to the command centre as soon as he was able. Liara sat curled up against a wall between two cots. What had happened.

"She won't let anyone help her," said one of the medtechs. "That's why we called you."

"I understand." Kaiden walked to where Liara sat.

He knelt in front of her. "Liara." He put his hand on her shoulder. "Liara, what is it?"

"She's gone."

Of all people, Liara would know. Kaiden hung his head. "You know she beat them somehow."

"I know. She died for us."

"Yeah. I think she knew she'd have to."

Liara looked up to face Kaiden. "She's the bravest person I've known."

"Yeah."

Liara put her hand on his, and they sat in silence. Around them the command center filled their silence.

"Major Alenko."

He looked up at the tech specialist.

"We have a distress signal from Normandy. It's down in Brazil."

Kaiden stood up. "You have a shuttle?"

"Yes, sir."

"Wait, Kaiden, I'm coming too." Liara stood up and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It's what Shepard would do."

**Earth, Brazil**

They weren't the first shuttle there. Two were already departing. Normandy sat at the end of a long scar through the forest. Parts and debris littered its path. Smoke rose from a gash in its hull. Kaiden and Liara leapt from the descending shuttle as soon as it touched the ground and ran for the Normandy. They climbed the emergency ramp to the open airlock. Inside the only lights were dim emergency lights. Crew members and S&amp;R responders moved on their own missions to help the wounded. Kaiden recognized faces from his time on Normandy, but searched for his friends. James Vega coming toward him, carrying the front of a stretcher, on his way to the airlock.

"Vega."

"Major Alenko, Liara, when did you get here?"

"Just now."

"You got a shuttle? We got wounded to evac."

"Tali" Liara said as she saw who was on the stretcher. The Quarian girl lay unconscious. "Who else? Liara asked.

James paused in his course for the airlock. "Jeff, Doc, Adams. More." Then he started forward again.

"Let's find EDI," Kaiden said.

"I am here." EDI's voice came over the internal speakers. With her integration into Normandy, she was technically everywhere.

"How's Jeff?"

"He had multiple broken bones and internal bleeding. He has been taken to the nearest medical facility."

"They'll take good care of him."

"I am monitoring communications and systems there. His progress is good."

"Where's your…body?"

"It is currently in engineering to assist with repairs."

They found Traynor at the back of the CIC coordinating communication with the incoming and outgoing shuttles. She saluted Kaiden and greeted Liara.

"What happened?" Kaiden asked Traynor.

She updated them on their attempt to reach the Citadel.

"EDI, what's the status out there?"

"All the Reapers have pulled out of the system, and taken the Citadel with them," she said. "Reports across alliance space are the same; withdrawal of all Reaper forces."

"What about Commander Shepard? She's still on the Citadel," Traynor said. "We have to get her."

Liara shook her head. "Shepard's gone." Her voice cracked saying the words again.

"Fucking hell." James said, having joined them. "She can't be."

"James, I know." Liara said.

Traynor looked down at her board. "I'll scan for her transponder."

"Shepard's been in lots of worse spots," James said. "She's still alive."

"James," Liara said. Kaiden saw her start to shake.

"Don't you give up on her!" James shouted.

"I'm not!" Liara's eyes went black, and she slammed James against a bulkhead with her biotics. "Don't you tell me I'm giving up on her. Don't you think I'd know when Shepard's dead?" James grimaced in pain. "Don't you think I'd know, of all people?"

"Liara." Kaiden said, daring to interpose himself and use his own biotic power to break Liara's hold on James.

She turned away and hugged herself. "I'm sorry, James."

Kaiden, helped James to his feet after the broken hold. "Fuck. Lola wasn't supposed to die. She wasn't." He turned and punched the bulkhead hard enough to bloody his knuckles.

"I know. Let's get the rest of the wounded out of here." Kaiden told the others.

"You know, someone should tell Garrus and Tali," James said.

"Yeah," Kaiden said.

"We can both do that," Liara said touching his arm. "As soon as we're done here. We'll need to tell everyone…everyone who survived."

**Emergency Field Hospital, Sao Paulo**

Wounded crowded everywhere there was medical care available. Emergency field hospitals popped up anywhere the staff could find a relatively clean and standing building. In urban battlefields there was little space in the rubble. Kaiden, Liara and James found Garrus and Tali after an hour of searching, with help from Traynor and EDI, in a relatively undamaged town near the remains of Sao Paulo. Dozens of tents gave shelter to thousands of survivors, but tens of thousands more huddled in fields outside the town.

Liara watched from the shuttle window as they passed over them. "How are we going to help them all?"

"I wish I knew," Kaiden said. He couldn't imagine the logistics it would take to feed and heal and shelter everyone left alive.

"The Reapers are gone, but people will continue to die," she said.

"Cleaning up the mess is going to take years," James said.

The shuttle circled low over the hospital roof. Cortez turned in his seat, "I need to make another run. I can be back for you in about an hour."

Kaiden pulled the door open and hopped down. Liara and James followed. The hospital director, a harried young woman who looked like she hadn't slept in days told them where to find their friends. Through a crowded, noisy hall they came to a small room with space for three beds, but where four and a cot were jammed together.

"We're still here and I don't hear shooting, so it's over?" Garrus said from one of the beds. Tali lay in the bed next to Garrus, her suit connected to a number of monitors. "So where's Shepard?"

"Garrus…" Liarra started.

Kaiden didn't know how to read Turian expressions really well, but he could see Garrus' mood take on a steep downward arc. "Don't say it," Garrus said. "I don't want to hear it." He closed his eyes. "I never should have let her order me onto that shuttle."

"You and me both," James said.

"Have they said how Tali is?" Liara changed the subject.

"I'm not sure." One of the doctors shouldered her way through them to Tali's side. "Quarian physiology. I really am just familiar with humans. I'm still interning, and now there are aliens everywhere, and I just don't have the information I need." The young doctor ran a shaky hand through her hair.

"I can help you with that," Liara said. "We'll get her moved to a facility that has the supplies."

"What about you Garrus?"

"I could really use a drink. I could use a whole lot of them."

"Not on my watch," the doctor said.

"You've got to get me out of here," Garrus told them.

"Is he okay to move?" Kaiden asked the doctor.

"He's good enough to travel, and I could use the bed."

Liara asked. "Where are we taking you, Garrus?"

"How the hell should I know?" He paused. "I'm not thinking past getting really, really drunk. I think I've earned that."

When Cortez returned they loaded Tali, still unconscious, into the shuttle. Garrus walked with a cane to support him, refusing any help. On the way to orbit he remained silent, staring at the floor.

"Garrus," Kaiden said. The Turian refused to look up. Kaiden looked at Liara.

She stood up and moved over to him, kneeling by his side and putting a gentle and on his shoulder. "Garrus."

"Don't, Liara. Just let me be angry. I just want to be fucking angry."

Kaiden's omni tool signalled he had an incoming message. He opened it and saw it was Admiral Hackett. "Sir."

"Major Alenko, we've had a development by the relay. I need you to report to my flagship."

"Yes, sir. We're just on our way to the Quarian homeship with Tali, she needs medical attention. I'll report immediately after."

"Very well, major. Hackett out."

"Nice of him to ask about Tali," Garrus said.

"I'm sure he's got a lot on his mind," Kaiden said.

Garrus scowled. "So do I."

"I'm not going to argue. Let's just get Tali to her people," Kaiden said.

"Now approaching Quarian fleet," Cortez said on the speaker "Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay has given us permission to dock with her ship.

They manuevered in to one of the dreadnoughts. Scars from the battle marked its hull, but it seemed not too badly damaged. When they docked, Admiral Raan was there to meet them.

"We'll take Tali right to sickbay," Admiral Raan said.

"I'll stay with Tali," Liara said. "I want to be there when she wakes up. She should hear about Shepard from someone close." Liara put her hand to her face to hide her tears.

"Ok, Liara, that's good. Let us know when she wakes up. Take care."

She dried her eyes then held his gaze for a moment. "I know you're trying to be strong for us, Kaiden, but find some time for yourself."

He nodded and closed the hatch as Liara hurried to catch up to the Quarians and Tali. "Okay, Cortez, take us out."

Sitting on the bench beside the hatch, Kaiden started pulling up situation reports.

"Hey, Major, Liara was right, you been keeping a pretty tight lid on things. You okay?"

Taking a moment to calm himself, he replied. "I'm fine James, there's just a lot to do. A lot to process."

James crossed his arms and looked back at Kaiden. "Got it," he said then closed his eyes.

In spite of his attempts to concentrate in the relative silence of the shuttle, the scrolling reports were just a jumble of letters and numbers. His thoughts kept trying to get away, kept running to images of Shepard just as she left the command centre to try and reach the beam. So beautiful, and fierce. Damn, he thought. Taking a deep breath, he tried again to review the flood of incoming reports.


	2. Chapter 2

Cortez brought them within visual range of the admiral's dreadnought, the bulk of it growing by the second. Surrounding it was a fleet of escorts. Cortez traded hails with them, passed their IFF signature to the air boss on flagship and received clearance to dock.

"We're clear, sir."

"Thanks," Kaiden said. "Damn big aren't they?" There were several other dreadnoughts and large cruisers nearby.

"They sure are." Cortez said. "I love looking at them." He frowned. "Too bad there's a lot fewer of them after today."

Both men fell silent, letting the minutes pass as they drew close to the battleship.

"I'm sorry to—" Cortez said.

"Don't apologize. It's been a shitty day all around."

"Yep. I thought beating the Reapers would feel better."

"And then it turns out we have a whole new set of problems," Kaiden said. "I guess none of us looked past defeating the Reapers."

"None of us really expected to survive the Reapers," Cortez said.

"Shepard did," Kaiden's voice hitched when he said her name. "She had faith in all of us." He stopped not wanting to say more for fear of his voice breaking.

"Do we know how many of us made it?"

"Not yet. Liara's working on it. Not everyone's reported in."

"You know that even the ones who survived might not make it all the way back. I'm speaking from experience. After I lost Robert, I was pretty broken. Shepard helped a lot with that. Being able to talk with her…"

"But Shepard's dead!" Kaiden paused. "Sorry. I know where this is going. I'm not her. I can't be what she was to the group."

"Be yourself then. What I'm trying to say is that even Shepard didn't start out as, you know, Shepard. She grew into the role."

"It's too soon."

"After all the shit we've been through, we need to support each other. And some people need that support right now. Someone has to step up," Cortez said.

The dock control called his attention, so Cortez let it drop. Kaiden excused himself and went into the back of the shuttle.

James looked up and nodded. "Hombre, Cortez is right. And I hate saying' that."

"I'm not discussing it, lieutenant."

"Ok, but you are ranking officer on the team, Major Alenko." James emphasized his rank.

The shuttle bumped to a stop as it landed. Kaiden slid the door open and stepped out into the hangar followed by James and Garrus. The Admiral's aide met them and escorted them to the bridge.

"Major, Lieutenant, Garrus, I'm sorry about Shepard, but I'm glad to see you all alive."

Kaiden saluted. "Admiral. Glad to see you too."

"I've read the updates on your team."

"We're still trying to account for everyone." Kaiden replied. Images of his friends flashed through his memory.

"I know. We're working on it too, though from what I know about Liara, you might hear about them before I do."

"Sir, reports stated there was a second person who made it into the Citadel. Do you know who?" James said.

"Witnesses say it looked like Admiral Anderson, but there were so many others unaccounted for in the attack."

"Reapers don't leave a lot of bodies behind," Garrus said.

"Anderson's one of the MIAs?" Kaiden asked.

"He is." Hackett said.

James shook his head.

"I'm sorry Admiral, I know he was a friend of yours." Kaiden said.

"A friend and a hero. We lost a lot of friends today." Hackett said. "But there'll be time for remembrance later. For now I have a different reason to call you here." Hackett turned to one of his crew. "Ensign, bring up the images."

On the holo-viewer floated an image of the relay, shattered. Debris, parts of the relay and its gyroscopic rings drifted around it.

"This is coming from the Charon relay orbiting Pluto."

"Jesus," James said.

"What the hell did that?" Garrus asked.

"The energy released by the crucible apparently," said Hackett.

"What's that moving?" Kaiden asked, pointing at blurry dots amongst the debris. "They're not drifting like the debris."

"Good eye, Major," Hackett said. "Zoom in."

The broken mass relay expanded as the image zoomed then froze on familiar shapes.

"Fuck me!" James said.

"Reapers," Kaiden said.

"We're tracking three of them," Hackett said.

"So it was all for nothing," Garrus said as he clenched his fists. Kaiden hurt hearing the sorrow in his friend's voice.

"When do we attack?" James asked.

"Soon. But I need intel first," Hackett said. "I want to know if there are more hiding out there."

"We're ready to assist," Kaiden said.

"I was counting on that." Hackett said.


	3. Chapter 3

In the relative quiet of the liveship's sickbay, Tali lay asleep with her head in Liara's lap. The young Quarian had been nearly inconsolable after learning Shepard's fate, her grief adding to the weight of Liara's own. They cried together, though Liara couldn't help wonder how that worked inside Tali's suit, or if Quarians shed tears. Before long Tali fell asleep.

"Are you two okay?" A Quarian doctor checked Tali's reading on her omni-tool.

"She's fine. Just sleeping," Liara said.

"I'm sure we can find you a bed somewhere."

"No, it's okay. I don't want her waking up alone." Liara said.

The doctor moved along to the next patient. Liara's head nodded, heavy with sleep.

"Liara."

Such a long day.

"Liara."

Who was calling her when she just needed a bit of sleep? Liara opened her eyes. She stood on a grey, empty expanse. An armored figure some distance off walked toward her.

"Liara."

She recognized the voice and knew it was a dream, because Shepard was dead. In the way dreams work, Shepard was suddenly only an arm's length away. Liara didn't know how Shepard died, didn't want to know, but hoped it hadn't been painful. But now, in this dream, Jane looked as beautiful as she had when they first met; red hair, green eyes, a sprinkle of freckles across her nose, and the faint scar through her eyebrow, something Cerberus had fixed when they rebuilt her.

"You are Liara."

"Jane." Liara raised her hand, reaching out for her lover.

"I know you."

Liara pulled her hand back as a sense of dread went through her. "Of course you do."

"I was Jane Shepard."

"Who are you now?" Liara took a step away. She wanted to wake up now, didn't want to know where this dream would lead.

"I don't know yet," Jane looked down. When she looked up again, her eyes were blue, like Saren's, like the Illusive Man's. "I am the control."

"Not you!" Liara ran in slow motion. Looking over her shoulder, she saw not Shepard, but something that looked like a husk reaching out for her.

"Liara."

She opened her eyes with a start.

"Are you okay?" Tali sat in front of Liara, sounding concerned. The Quarian doctor had returned.

"Just a dream," Liara said, mostly to herself. But in the back of her mind, in the part of herself she'd lost when Shepard died, something nagged—something that felt tainted. Liara shook her head as if that were enough to clear the feeling.

"Not a good dream from the noises you were making."

"No, certainly not." Her desire to sleep, and escape from everything this day had brought was gone. She didn't want to risk going back to the dream. "Doctor, do you have a stimulant? It's been a long day."

"Sorry Doctor T'Soni, I'm not stocked for Asari patients."

"I understand. It's best if I got back to work." Liara got out of the bed and straightened her tunic. "Glyph." Her VI info-drone assistant appeared beside her.

"How can I assist you Doctor T'Soni?"

"Have you been cross-checking casualty reports and listed survivors against Shepard's team?"

"As you requested."

"Give me the results."

Tali sat with her legs over the side of the bed, listening.

"Zaeed Massani confirmed dead. Jacob Taylor, wounded, in serious condition. Grunt, wounded, in stable condition. That completes updates to previous report."

"I'm sorry to hear about Zaeed," Tali said.

"I didn't know him," Liara said.

"He was a…colorful character. Not always friendly, but good at his job. And Shepard trusted him, so he couldn't be that bad."

"No, she was an excellent judge of character." The mention of Shepard's name brought a flash from her dream. Again her connection to Shepard brought a twinge. What was that feeling in the place Shepard had been? And why would she dream of Shepard as a husk?

Her omn-tool signalled an incoming message.

"Liara here."

"Liara, it's Kaiden. It looks like it's not over. We spotted Reapers out by the relay."

Her shoulders slumped and she felt tears sting the corner of her eyes. "Wh—" Liara started before her voice caught. "What do you need from me?"


	4. Chapter 4

On the shuttle to Admiral Hackett's ship, Liara attempted and failed to meditate. They hadn't beaten the Reapers as assumed. The crucible had been a dud, giving them only a temporary reprieve, and the Citadel was gone now too. Who knew where the Reapers had taken it. Shepard's death was for nothing. Or maybe she had been captured and that's what the dream meant; Shepard twisted and indoctrinated to be a tool of the Reapers. That would be worse than killing her. All Liara's attempts to meditate ended in a vision of the Shepard husk reaching for her.

Liara hid her face in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut against tears that kept threatening. Her whole body thrummed with pent up biotic energy and a need to lash out at anything or everything, to rip the world apart for its unrelenting cruelty. If she could face one of the Reapers now, she felt certain she could burn it to the ground on her own.

When she looked up, Liara saw Tali watching her. "You look ready for a fight."

"I don't want to, but we might not have a choice. I don't know how long we'll have to regroup."

"It's just like Javek said it was in his cycle, war and battle after battle until they wipe us out. Just fear and death."

"It won't be like that," Liara said, but her words lacked conviction. "What do I know?"

"I trust you to figure it out. You always figure it out."

"No. No I don't. I wasted time and resources on the crucible, then sent us all on a pointless chase across the galaxy to get the catalyst. If I hadn't, maybe we would have had more ships, more people to fight." Liara put her face back in her hands. "What do I know?"

"You know that wouldn't have made a difference," Tali told her. "Not enough to win this war."

Liara looked up and gave her a tired smiled. "It's all a delaying tactic now. We need time to record what we know, preserve our knowledge and hide it away where the Reapers won't find it." She had to make sure that contingency plan continued forward. She could put all the Shadow Broker's resources, her resources, toward it. Maybe in the next cycle they can use what we've learned, start earlier, and prevent this.

Cortez called from the front of the shuttle, "Liara, we're ready to dock."

"Thank you, lieutenant."

Kaiden waited for them in the landing bay and stepped forward as shuttle hatch opened.

"Liara, welcome aboard."

"Thank you, Kaiden."

"The admiral is waiting for us in the conference room. The last representative should be here any moment."

As he finished another shuttle came in to land. Before it even stopped, its hatch slid open and Wrex jumped the last two metres to the deck.

"Liara! Kaiden!" His voice boomed. "Back together again. That was a hell of a fight wasn't it, but Shepard kicked their asses. I didn't think some scrawny, human female could do it, but damn, she was one hell of a warrior."

Liara turned away.

"Did anyone tell you she died?" Kaiden asked.

"Yeah, I know that. But she died taking down the worst enemy this galaxy has ever seen. That's a hell of a way to go. Wish it could have been me. They'd be building statues with this handsome face on them."

In that moment, Liara also wished it had been Wrex. Anything to have Shepard back.

"So what am I here for? The message from Hackett was pretty mysterious."

"I can let him tell you that," Kaiden said.

Kaiden led them to the conference room near the command center. Admiral Hackett greeted them. In the room were representatives from the Asari fleet, several of the Quarian admirals, Geth mobile platforms, and Turians. He activated the holo display. In it the broken mass effect relay floated. He zoomed in until it showed a reaper amongst the debris pieces.

Gasps and curses came from the assembled crowd.

"That's right," Hackett said. "We fought and sacrificed much; thousands dead and lost. We won a temporary victory, a break in the fight. And I have to ask all of you to fight again. As an old Earth playwright once said, 'Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more'."

"Or close up the wall with our English dead."

Liara turned and saw Samara recite the line, to the humans' surprise.

"It was a good play," she said. "And appropriate for now. Let us hope the battle turns out the same way for us."

"I don't give a shit about any play. But I'm all for a fight," Wrex said. "When do we get to it?"

Primarch Victus stepped forward. "The Turians will fight."

Admiral Raan exchanged a glance with Admiral Koris, who nodded. "The Quarian heavy fleet will fight," Raan said in a tired voice.

"The Geth will offer any assistance necessary," said one of the mobile platforms.

"Thank you. I'm proud to call you allies," Hackett said. "We are gathering intelligence, prepare your fleets. As soon as you are all able to report readiness, we'll move out.

I'm never going to get that drink." Liara overheard Garrus say as the Turian answered Primarch Victus' summons. Tali walked to where Raan and Koris stood discussing something with the Geth before all of them walked out. Wrex left them to make plans for troop transport. With their companions leaving to their races' ships, Kaiden and Liara stood alone in the conference room.

"Everyone going their own way. It feels a lot like the first time we lost her." Kaiden said.

"It does. And we don't even get time to mourn." Liara fought for control over her emotions.

"No."

The silence stretched out and moments passed. When she looked up, she saw Kaiden's eyes were bright and knew he too was on the edge of self-control.

"Liara, I don't think I ever told you, but when we were chasing Saren down and both you and I were making a play for Shepard… I want to tell you that I was happy for you two."

"That's a very kind thing to say. And not easy."

"I mean I was envious as hell at first. But seeing you two together, I knew you really did love each other. And you made her happy."

"It seems like such as short time now." Her voice cracked as she spoke. "And what did I do when she came to me on Ilium? Instead of helping her—" Liara's control broke and the tears came. _Damn it_, she cursed herself. _Pull yourself together._

"I did the same. I'm not sure she ever told you, but when she came back, I met her on Horizon. All I could see was her working for Cerberus. I should have trusted it was really her. After everything we'd been through, I wish I could have done that."

"Thank you for telling me. I never knew that." Liara wiped her eyes then put her hand on his shoulder. "She wouldn't have held it against you."

"And do you think she held Ilium against you?" Kaiden asked.

"No. No, that wasn't her. I needed the reminder."

"Looks like it's time to go," Kaiden said, looking past her.

She turned and saw Admiral Hackett approaching.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but, Major Alenko, we need to discuss plans. And Doctor T'Soni, Matriarch Lidanya would like to speak to you."

"Thank you, Admiral."

"Liara, good luck," Kaiden said, and Liara heard the finality in it. The war would be over for them soon. Hopefully others could carry on the fight. She looked at the hand he held out to shake in the human gesture for hello and farewell. Instead she put her arms around him in a hug.

"Good luck, Kaiden. You were a good friend to Jane, and you're a good friend to me. Take care." She turned and left. The Matriarch waited for her.


	5. Chapter 5

Garrus climbed out of the shuttle onto the deck of the Turian flagship. He followed Primarch Victus, his generals, their aides and escort of guards. He watched other Turians moving with purpose and efficiency, readying the ship for another battle. They saluted, or nodded with respect. He heard his name whispered between them. But this wasn't his ship, this wasn't his crew, his friends. Garrus knew he was alone here.

_Why didn't you take me with you?_ He thought. _Why? Maybe I could have saved you, or at least I could have died with you._

"Vakarian."

Garrus turned to face Primarch Victus. "Apologies, Primarch. I was just 'lost in thought', as the humans say."

"I hope your thoughts were on the coming battle, because we need your expertise."

"No you don't."

"What's that?" Victus asked, surprised.

"You don't need my expertise."

"Explain yourself, Vakarian."

"I can't advise you on the best way to beat the Reapers, because there is no way to beat them."

"Of course there is."

"This is your Reaper expert talking, Primarch. The best damn soldier we had died today, and now we're screwed. You want me to fight? I'll fight. But let's not kid ourselves that this is anything but suicide."

Victus spoke slowly and deliberately. "Garrus Vakarian, you're relieved. Get out of my sight."

"Yes, sir."

He saluted and left the Primarch and his aides behind as he headed for the ship's commissary. The Turian behind the counter was a scarred, old, lifetime soldier who could maybe still hold a gun, but not steadily.

"Hey, I know you," the old Turian said. "You ran with Shepard. Too bad about her."

"Too bad about all of us," Garrus replied.

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind. What do you have to drink on this ship?"

"Nothing. We're in a combat situation, so the ship is dry."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"We both know that no ship is ever really dry. You must have something back there. Now what's it going to take for me to get it?"

"I'd be in serious trouble."

"No you won't, because we'll all be dead soon. I for one don't want to face that sober. I promised my friend we'd have a drink when this was all over. You can't let me let her down again."

The old Turian considered for a moment. "Fine." He walked into the back and returned a few minutes later with a bottle marked "weapon cleaning fluid".

Garrus chuckled.

"I've got to hide it somehow. Don't you worry though. This is good stuff. Got it from some Quarians a few days ago. Last one I have." He twisted the cap off and sniffed it. "Raise one for me. Shepard was a fine soldier."

"Best one I've ever seen. To Jane Shepard." Garrus raised the bottle and took a big drink before almost choking on it. "You weren't kidding about this."

"Don't drink it too fast."

"Not much time left to savour it. Thanks long-timer."

He took the bottle to his guest quarters, locked the door, sat on the bunk and took another pull on it, prepared this time for its punch. Before long the room blurred if he didn't focus. But it wasn't enough to forget. He drank again, and again until the bottle slipped from his hand. Garrus reached to get it and the floor rushed up at him. His head bounced off and he sprawled on his back.

"Shit," he slurred as he reached again for the bottle and sent it spinning away. "Shit." Garrus lay still as the room spun, then took a deep breath and rolled on his side, successfully grabbing the bottle. He brought it to his mouth and drank it to the last drop.

The room spun and spun faster and faster. Garrus closed his eyes. Maybe he wouldn't wake up until the midst of the attack, or maybe not at all.

When he opened his eyes he thought they were already in battle, but realized the rooms was spinning from the alcohol still in his system. James Vega stood over him smiling.

"Hey, hombre," Vega said in a loud voice. "Looking good."

"Can you not shout?"

Even louder, Vega said, "No can do."

Garrus cringed and groaned. "You're just some bad dream."

"You wish. I was in the middle of cleaning my weapon—that doesn't mean what you're thinking—"

"Trust me, I'm not thinking anything right now."

"Anyway I get orders to hustle over to the Turian flagship and pick up a container of solid waste—I assume they meant 'sack of shit', but anyway I have to fly over here, and when I get here they bring me to see this." Vega was almost shouting now. "What a sight."

Garrus turned his head, which didn't help his stomach, and saw two guards standing in the open door.

"Primarch Victus doesn't want you anywhere on his ship." Garrus thought he caught a momentary look of pity on Vega's face. He held his arm out to help Garrus up. "Come on, Former Special Military Advisor of Something, Something, let's get out of here."

Garrus took Vega's arm and Vega pulled him up so fast that Garrus had to clench his jaw to keep from throwing up.

"Whoa there, Garrus. This won't look so good if I have to princess-carry you out of here."

"When I sober up, Vega…"

"Don't make any long-term plans, Garrus."

"Ok. Let's go."

Vega steadied Garrus and they walked past the two serious Turian guards. Vega had to catch Garrus a few times and give him a course correction, but they made it to the hanger and to the waiting shuttle. Garrus stumbled in, missed the handhold and fell to the floor.

"Very graceful," Vega said as he climbed in. Then he pulled out a small pack and tore it open. "Here, take these. Your pal in the commissary passed this to me. Said it would sober you up."

"You had those this whole time?" Garrus pulled himself into the nearest seat.

"Yep." Vega passed him three pills he'd shaken into his palm.

"Why didn't you give me these before." Garrus took them and swallowed them."

"I don't mind you barfing in the Turian flagship, but I don't want to clean it out of this shuttle."

"You're a sick bastard, Vega." Garrus closed his eyes, feeling the medication working fast.

Vega laughed. "You know it."

"So we're going back to Hackett's ship?

"Yeah. Kaiden thinks you might be useful. He's the one that sent me to get you."

"At least I'll get to die among friends. Better than Shepard got."

"Damn. Why'd you bring that up? All I want to think about is kicking some more Reaper ass."

"Because that's what grown ups do, Vega, we talk about things."

"When you're not getting fucking drunk?"

"Well I guess you got me there. Damn it, let's go shoot something."


	6. Chapter 6

"Ugh." Joker saw a haze of light and opened his eyes.

"Jeff, it is good to see you awake," EDI said from his bedside.

"You said 12 broken bones?" Joker looked looked down at the emergency casts they'd applied to his legs and right arm. The hospital room they'd stashed him in wasn't Alliance military. It looked civilian, and one that was past its prime. Three other patients shared the room with him; two unconscious crew mates from the Normandy, and a civilian with a bandage around his head who watched EDI suspiciously.

"That is correct." EDI said.

"I got off easy."

"I don't understand how you believe that, Jeff."

Joker nodded at Blevins and Reese from the Normandy, "At least I'm conscious. Guess I won't be flying any time soon though."

"The doctors set the bones and estimate that your recovery time will be six to eight weeks."

"How's the Normandy?"

"She is undergoing repairs. Chief Engineer Adams estimates 2 weeks."

"That's no good. I have to be ready. Bring on the medi-gel."

"Medi-Gel is in short supply. The doctors will not approve using extra without life-threatening injuries."

"But this is life threatening." Joker threw his head back into his pillow and regretted it as his ribs flared with pain.

"I do not understand if you're joking."

"I"m not."

"You will be able to rejoin the Normandy crew following the necessary rehabilitation period."

"By that time someone else will have my job. Ugh!" the sound Joker made was between anger and exasperation. "Fine. Have them fit me for one of those exoskeletons."

"Sufficient parts and materials for that might be in short supply," EDI said.

"Please, EDI, I'm begging. No joke. I have to be in the pilot's seat when Normandy is ready to fly. I won't be left behind. Normandy's all I have. If someone else flies her, I might never get another chance."

"Jeff, your service record with the Alliance would indicate otherwise. You've proven your value on numerous occasion in both the original Normandy and the current one."

"And it's kind of like someone taking my girl out."

EDI stared at him. "Ah."

"Ah?"

"I understand now that some of your feelings are motivated by jealousy. You are equating another person piloting the Normandy to having sexual relations with me."

"Whoa! You really got that from me?"

Across the room, the civilian started laughing. Joker looked away from him.

"Your blush response indicates I'm correct," EDI said. "It also implies a sense of ownership over me."

"What? No!" Jeff closed his eyes. "Okay, okay. Maybe. And I'm sorry. If you want to fly with someone else, I understand."

"I do not wish to fly with another pilot. I will take steps to gather the materials needed to fashion an exoskeleton, or I will act as your mobility assistance mech."

"Thanks, EDI."


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard sucked in a breath, and tried to focus on the figure in front of her. Why did it have to take the kid's shape? What did it mean?

"Wake up."

Shepard propped herself up on an elbow and felt a fresh flow of blood from her left side. "Ugh." The cybernetic implants were doing everything to fix her, but there was so much damage. Blood dripped through her fingers to the clean metal floor.

"Who are you?"

"I am the citadel. I am the catalyst. I am the control."

"You're the catalyst?"

"As stated."

"Where is this?"

"This is the control."

Shepard looked around at the large machines arrayed around the broad, open space, then up at the immensity of the Crucible poised above her, and tried to orient herself. She must be somewhere near where the council met, in the tower.

"You are the first organic being to reach this place." The Catalyst said.

She looked around. About a dozen keepers tended to the machinery. "They don't count?"

"They have been repurposed from an early cycle. They do not function independently."

"The Reapers. They did that. You serve the Reapers?"

"No. I function in concert with them and they through me. We are networked. I built the Reapers to save organics from the chaos of war with synthetics."

"You built monsters."

"The Reapers were built to preserve life, and to encode entire civilizations before they disappear."

"That's not how we see it. They destroy life. They harvest people…organics and turn them into twisted versions of what you're trying preserve; monsters."

"The solution has become problematic. Errors have developed in the code. I am unable to repair them. New input is required."

"Input?"

"You, Commander Shepard."

"I'm here to destroy the Reapers, not fix them."

"Destruction is only one option. There is another."

"How do I kill them?" Shepard drew her gun.

"That assembly is a power relay," it pointed to a machine on the far side of a catwalk. "Complete the circuit and the citadel's power will be channeled and amplified by the crucible, broadcast across this star system and through the mass relay system."

"You're lying. Why would you just tell me that?"

"The cycle is corrupted. You can change that."

"By killing the Reapers."

"Not only the Reapers. The power required to destroy the Reapers' synaptic patterns and kill them will also destroy the synaptic patterns in all life forms here and in systems connected by the mass relays."

"Can I change that? Reduce the power? Tune it only for synthetic forms?"

"No."

Shepard hung her head. "But it will kill the Reapers."

"Yes."

She threw her gun to the floor. "Fuck!" Tears welled up in her eyes. Her body shook with anger. "Kill everyone? I didn't do all this just to kill everyone!"

"There is another choice."

"What?"

"New input is required. You."

Shepard tried to focus. Time's running out, she thought.

"What do you mean."

"New control parameters can be mapped to mine, correcting existing errors in the code."

"Control?" She paused to take a breath. "Like the Illusive Man wanted."

"Yes, but Jack Harper was not a suitable candidate. His indoctrination began 23 years, 8 months and 5 days ago, in your time scale."

"His name was Jack Harper? I didn't know that." She shook her head. "It's not important, he's dead." She paused again to focus. "I could control the Reapers?"

"Your mind would be mapped as the new control system."

"I could make them stop the attack. They'd do what I say?"

"Yes. Each Reaper is a collection of independent sentient beings—"

"We are legion. I remember Sovereign saying that."

"Correct. As control I can issue commands to override independent actions."

"Why don't you do that now?"

"My control patterns have degraded as the Reapers have. You are needed to add new control patterns."

Shepard took a deep breath to fight against the pain and the growing darkness at the edge of her vision. All around her, beyond the confines of the control space, she could see the battle for Earth. Debris spun, ships exploded under Reaper fire. Somewhere out there among the Reapers was the Normandy, and her friends. And below, in London, more of her friends fighting and probably dying.

The control hologram could be lying about the destructiveness of the pulse, or the possibility of controlling the Reapers. It could be true. How could she tell? She wished Liara, or Garrus or Kaiden were with her. She needed EDI's or Legion's objectiveness. Why did this come down just on her alone, to make the decision that would affect hundreds of billions, and a billion, billion more unborn.

"Why me?"

"You were the one to come here."

"I didn't choose this."

"All your actions and decisions have brought you to this point. You are responsible for being at this nexus. There is a third option. You could decide not to make a decision. But that would be incongruent with your past actions."

"Do nothing? No."

Destruction or control? The pool of blood on the floor beneath her was worrying. Only minutes left. And if she died then it was game over out there. Decision time.

"Control. I choose control. Friends, forgive me if I'm wrong." She paused again to clear her head and catch her breath. A wet gurgle came out as she did. One of her lungs must be filling with blood. "Okay, how does this work then?" She tried to stand, but the control room seemed to lurch and she fell forward to the deck. She heard clicking noises rushing toward her. Turning her head, she could see the keepers skittering toward her. Unable to move herself, they picked her up and carried her toward a bank of machines.

She knew she was starting to see things now. Her friends couldn't be there for real, but as the keepers carried her across the control floor she passed Ashley and Morden, who nodded to her. All her friends lined the path, looking down at her. EDI, Tali, Jack and Miranda waved their farewells. Anderson, Jeff, Jacob, Wrex and Grunt saluted her. Gentle as could be, the keepers placed her on some sort of table or slab. Liara, Garrus and Kaiden gathered around her.

"I love you," she said to them. "You kept me going. You kept me strong."

The keepers moved some kind of machine, a scanner most likely, over top of where she lay. It began to hum.

Liara took her right hand and held it in both of hers. Shepard could almost feel it as the light dimmed. "Rest now Shepard," Liara said and kissed her hand.

Shepard nodded. She felt tears run down her face, and didn't fight it. Her fight was done, the decision made and committed to. Liara was right, it was time to finally rest.

The hum of the machine rose, and bathed her in light.

And then she was gone.


End file.
